Set the Standard by Extending Grace

“From the fullness of His grace we have all received one blessing after another.” –John 1:16

Everywhere we go we encounter people whose words or actions test our patience. It could be a coworker whose attitude dampens the room, the driver who cuts us off in traffic, or even someone close to us who wounds us with their words. In those moments, our natural response might be to react in frustration or to let their negativity shape our spirit. But God has given us a different way.

We carry the power to set the spiritual atmosphere around us not by mirroring negativity but by extending grace. Grace is not earned, it’s freely given. Grace is choosing to bless when others may not deserve it, just as God continually blesses us with His undeserved love.

Ephesians 4:32 reminds us:

 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

This verse is more than a suggestion, it should be a lifestyle. God’s forgiveness toward us becomes the foundation for how we treat others. When we remember how much we’ve been forgiven, grace becomes easier to extend.

But let’s be honest, forgiveness is not always easy. Sometimes the hurt runs so deep that forgiving feels impossible. We may tell ourselves that holding onto the offense keeps us safe or protects us from being hurt again. Yet the truth is, unforgiveness keeps us chained to the pain. It keeps us replaying the hurt and allows bitterness to quietly shape our attitudes.

I’ve had to wrestle with this myself. There were seasons when people I deeply loved and people I worshiped with, prayed with, and invested in, suddenly walked away without explanation. Some ended relationships with silence - offering no closure or conversation, not even a goodbye. I tried reaching out, but all I received was what we often call ghosting. It felt like they took a piece of my heart with them when they left the church. The rejection stung, and the silence left a wound that words could not explain.

In those moments, forgiveness was not natural. It wasn’t something I felt, it was something I had to choose. I had to draw from a power greater than myself to release them into God’s hands. If I had stayed stuck in bitterness, I would have closed my heart to future relationships. But God reminded me that it’s better to love like Jesus, expecting no return, than to never love at all.

Even God Himself loves people who reject Him daily. His love is constant, unconditional, and unshaken even when it isn’t accepted. If I'm called to reflect His heart, then I must choose to love and forgive, even when it hurts. I have learned that forgiveness is not about erasing the pain, it's about refusing to let that pain define my future.

Romans 12:21 says,

 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

With every choice I made to forgive, I opened my heart again, and I overcame – not by my strength, but by God’s grace working through me. Forgiveness gave me freedom. It allowed me to heal and to step into new connections without carrying old wounds.

Jesus said in Matthew 5:7,

 “Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.”

When I show mercy, even when it feels undeserved, I make space for God’s mercy to flood my own life. That is where true growth happens. Grace changes the atmosphere around us, but forgiveness changes the atmosphere within us.

The bitterness that once weighed me down made room for joy. The anger that once consumed me made room for peace. And the pain that once defined me made room for purpose.

So, the next time you’re tempted to react in anger, pause and ask: How can I set the standard by showing grace instead? If forgiveness feels too hard, invite God into that place of pain. Remember, forgiveness is not about what they deserve, it's about what God has already given you.

Your choice to extend grace today could be the very thing that brings healing, not just to someone else, but to your own heart as well.

Reflection 

Who is the one person you will encounter today that you can intentionally show unexpected grace or kindness to, regardless of how they treat you?

Author: Priscilla Campbell

Editor: Christine Platt